


all this blood on your hands

by nowayout



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Ambiguous Relationships, Angst, Gen, Non-Linear Narrative, POV Second Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-13
Updated: 2014-08-13
Packaged: 2018-02-13 01:11:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2131431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nowayout/pseuds/nowayout
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I had to watch you die too, remember?”</p>
<p>And the thing is, you do. You remember how worried Liam had looked, pacing around the room while asking all those questions, the quiver in voice, his jittery movements. </p>
<p>You also remember how it felt to catch Liam’s lifeless body.</p>
            </blockquote>





	all this blood on your hands

**Author's Note:**

> OH GOD SCOTT'S DREAMS WHY (I mean I know why, BUT WHYYYY)  
> This fic is a mess, Scott is a mess, I'm a mess, and nothing will ever be okay again after the last ep.

 

It was a good plan. It didn’t work the way it was supposed to and you still don’t know who wants you dead so badly, but at least you know _something_ and something is better than nothing.

 

Usually.

 

There might be some things that you’re trying to ignore for the time being.

 

*

 

Eighty-two seconds since you recognized his scent. Forty-seven seconds since you heard Dr. Geyer’s resigned sigh, barely audible, partially lost between “I have to see him,” and “Dad, please.”

 

You can’t start crying now. You can’t be thinking about his blood on your face, but oh, you already are.

 

“Liam’s here.”

 

Stiles takes a deep breath but keeps his arms around your waist. His chin digs into your shoulder when he sullenly says, “Of course he is.”

 

*

 

_But you are a predator._

_No. We're predators... But we don't have to... We don't have to..._

 

Liam looks disappointed.

 

You failed him. You failed everyone.

 

*

 

It was a good plan. You keep telling yourself that as you’re putting your clothes back on because you need to think about something other than what could happen to Kira’s mom or how you’re going to bullshit your way out of this one considering that you were officially declared dead and then suddenly you were breathing again and Dr. Geyer was looking at you with a million question marks in his eyes.

 

But your mom said she would handle this when she left with the blood samples and if there’s anyone you know you can trust with your life, literally, it’s her. Her and the boy who’s gently pulling at your sleeve to get you to sit next to him on the hospital bed, wrapping both arms around you as soon as you do, letting you feel just how fast his heart is beating.

 

*

 

Liam keeps fidgeting with the sleeves of his hoodie – it’s dark red; it makes you feel hysterical – and smiles up at you like he isn’t sure he should be smiling, and you’re not sure he should be either, but as long as he still has the power to do it, how you could tell him to stop?

 

*

 

You think it’s probably best not to mention to Stiles that you might start getting used to being temporarily dead. If the way he’s holding onto you is anything to go by, he’s clearly not getting used to seeing you die.

 

You’re thankful that he was able to put on a brave face around everyone else, but it’s just the two of you now, there’s no need to keep pretending that he wasn’t just as worried as the rest of them.

 

It isn’t fair that he has to go through this.

 

It isn’t fair that all of you do.

                                                                                                                                       

*

 

_There’s something different, isn’t there?_

 

*

 

Stiles rolls his eyes. “Right. Okay. I’m gonna pretend I have somewhere important to be right now and let you two talk,” he says, patting you on the shoulder one last time before he leaves.

 

Liam’s heart rate goes down once the door is closed and you can’t help but wonder if maybe your dreams were right about one thing and Liam’s affection for you is going to be his downfall someday.

 

*

 

Kira told you that Liam tried to hold off a Berserker on his own, to protect her, maybe, because her injuries didn’t heal as fast as his, because she was weakened.

 

You confront him about it, telling him he shouldn’t put himself in danger like that, but his reaction is pure excitement and pride as he begins to explain how he was able to channel his anger into strength, how that _felt_. His smile is wide and honest, his eyes the brightest you’ve ever seen them, blue, always blue. You can smell how happy he is, how intense his joy is, but he has his emotions under control.

 

He’s already so good at this. He’s so good, it scares you a little.

 

*

 

_What if it makes you stronger? What if it’s like you’re growing?_

 

*

 

You know you should tell him. He deserves to know.

 

*

 

You open your eyes again and, _finally_ , you’re awake.

 

You’re not alone. Stiles is there, and Kira, and Argent, they’re all right next to you.

 

But Liam isn’t.

 

*

 

“I kept dreaming of you.”

 

“Oh.”

 

You suppose it’s better to leave out the details, but you do tell him that you watched him die repeatedly and didn’t do anything to stop it. That, in the end, you killed him yourself.

 

Liam nods but doesn’t run away like you expect him to. Like you almost wishes he would before he realizes you’re becoming the monster that you promised he wasn’t.

 

Instead, he sits on the bed next to you and grabs your hand, rubbing his thumb over your knuckles, and it takes everything in you not to pull away or pull him closer.

 

Belle should have never offered herself to the Beast, you think, but shake your head when you remember it’s already too late.

 

*

 

_I’m not scared._

_Then you’re borderline idiotic._

 

*

 

“I had to watch you die too, remember?”

 

And the thing is, you do. You remember how worried Liam had looked, pacing around the room while asking all those questions, the quiver in voice, his jittery movements.

 

You also remember how it felt to catch Liam’s lifeless body and you have no idea how you could possibly remember the feeling of something that never happened, but nothing surprises you anymore. What you do know is that you will stop at nothing to make sure that nightmare stays locked in the most fucked up corner of your mind and doesn’t ever come true.

 

*

 

_Determining the danger to be imminent, I felt no other choice but to respond with the use of deadly force._

 

*

 

It would have been a good plan if your world wasn’t the way it is. But not killing doesn’t seem to be an option anymore, and you’re beginning to understand that you can’t protect everyone by using only words. You have to _do_ something or you might as well kill them yourself.

 

You pull Liam into your arms, sighing with relief when you feel him hug back instantly, fingers digging into your skin like he’s afraid to let you go, like maybe he needs this as much as you do.

 

_For you_ , you think to yourself as you press a kiss to his temple, letting that thought sink in, realizing it doesn’t make you feel like a monster. You’re not becoming Peter. You’re doing this to protect Liam – and everyone else. And if that’s what it takes, you’ll do it. You’ll kill for him _._


End file.
